I do not wanna, I do not like, I need to let go ...

Thinking more about what means the past, I came to the conclusion that the past itself may or may not be used as an indicator for the present and future.

However there are certain historical records that have value for themselves. There are records, though useless as a source of future predictions, they are still very interesting and provide a lot of interest and pleasure to be known and studied.

The problem is that life is too short to we live only by hidden pleasures in things of the past.

Moreover, the past makes us want to continue it in future.

If I see something great that has happened, I think, why not do something big too? How to do something that will be record in the History in a few decades, some centuries, a few millennia?

But why bother to do something great when we are not alive ourselves to relish our own greatness?

There is a dilemma then, between past, present and future.

Balancing these point of views and consider the adequacy of time we devote to each of them is essential.

This equation must be solved.

There are things that I have already registered and that in fact are part of my story. But today, I no longer have any interest in rescuing any recollection or project related to them. But what to do with them, since they are not forgotten, because they are properly registered?

Then I said I do not want to talk about certain things, or thinking about them, because they are overcome. And there are things I do not like to deal with, and does not bother me want to be harping on them. I want to forget them, but I can not because they are registered. How to let go of those uncomfortable things, if I can not simply ignore the records that they are mentioned?

Detachment, neutrality and curiosity with regard to our own past seems a very difficult thing for me. Although I try to put certain things that are already completed in what I call the Archive.

The archive is dead, but not forgotten.

So why look at the archive?

I watch the archive because it is curious.

It's something like the Titanic: we all know that is sunk, we do not have any relationship with him, but it no means that we do not want to see the movie and not be impressed with what happened.

Then, why the past is so interesting?

Why did he fascinates us and holds us in his long story full of endless details exactly when we know that life fades away between our fingers?

I'm inebriate for ages that are gone.

But I can not live without just leaving my mark.

How good is being a spectator of life. But how painful knowing it is to have lived only as a spectator of life ...

What a dilemma!